Weird Storyish Thingys Err Yeah
by AliceBrandonHale00
Summary: These are just things that I do. I think of weird stuff, then write it down. So.. Here you go. I know they probably aren't that funny.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight. These are simply weird things. It describes what I think about during the day. Eh. It contains songs, a Very short script.. And other stuff. xD Justt uhh. Read.**

_Chapter One._

Cullen Song!  
A little bit of Rosalie in my life. A little bit of Alice by my side. A little bit of Bella here and there. All the Cullen's everywhere. A little bit of Carlisle on my mind. A little bit of Esme all the time. A little bit of Edward in my bed. All the Cullen's everywhere! A little bit of Jasper not sleeping. A little but of Emmett arm wrestling. A little bit of Renesmee in my arms. All the Cullen's with their charms!

Werewolf Song!  
A little bit of Seth so sweet. A little bit of Leah with dirty feet. A little bit of Emily with her scar. All the werewolfs have come to far! A little bit of Paul that's gonna die, a little bit of knife in his heart. A little bit of Sam all grumpy. And don't forget Jacob the ugly flea! xD

Volturi Song!  
A little bit of Caius breaking wind. A little bit of Marcus tryin to win. A little bit of Jane without a part. All The Volturi aren't that smart! A little bit of Irina spreading the word. A little bit if death coming to her! A little bit of Aro making a choice. Maybe we'll see his blood so moist! c:


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- Next Thing. xD Don't ask. I know it sucks, I just wanted to post SOMETHING so it didn't look like I post and then quit. *shrug* Ehh. I don't own Twilight.** **Btw, this is written like a script...**

Fanfic of Twilight  
Dance Practice.

[Alice walks to Bella]  
Alice- BELLA BELLA BELLA!  
Bella-... Yeah?  
Alice- Emmett has agreed to take us to dance class! Me, you, him, Edward, Rose, and Jasper!  
[Emmett walks in scowling]  
Emmett- No! You threatened to beat me with three bags of ice if I didn't give in...  
Bella- Ouch.. Even for a vamp I guess that's gotta hurt..  
Alice- [beams] YUP!

[[NEXT DAY]]  
[Emmett, Alice, Bella, Edward, Rose, and Jazz walk into the dance studio wearing ridiculous dance clothes]  
Emmett- [looks at his outfit] What the hell is this?!  
Alice- if ur gonna take dance class, u gotta dress like a dancer!  
Jasper- [laughs] uhm... How'd Bells get into dance class? She is far from graceful...  
Rose- [smirks] Like ur graceful..  
Emm- IM VERY GRACEFUL! [accidentally trips]  
Alice- yeah... Sure...  
Bella- [Looks at Edward] hun? U have been awful quiet...  
Edward- [Looks at clothes] I don't feel right in tights... They make my legs look and feel weird...  
Rose- [Laughs] Silly! You're SUPPOSED to feel that way!  
Alice- No your not...  
Rose- oops... Well, that's the way I feel!  
Alice- You're cool...  
Emmett- LETS GO INSIDE GUYS!  
Jasper- Emm, aren't YOU the one that didn't want to go to dance?  
Emmett- Shut Up! I WANNA GO NOW! NOW SHUT UP SANTA!  
Jasper- [blinks]... Santa?  
Rose- [Looks at Emmett] how does Jazz in any way, look like Santa?  
Emmett- Well, you see-  
Rose- Or talk like Santa?  
Emmett- Look, all-  
Rose- OR ACT LIKE SANTA!?  
Emmett- LOOK! I COULDN'T THINK OF ANOTHER COME BACK AIGHT?!  
[[Edward falls to the ground laughing]]  
Jasper- [stares at Emmett] Let's go in shall we?  
Edward- [Looks at Emmett] Don't u dare think about doin that to my Bella!  
Emmett- AWW C'MON! It would be fun..  
Edward- Nope... [picks up Bells and walks in the dance classroom]  
[[IN DANCE CLASS]]  
Dance Instructor((D.I))- ok, class! Plié, up! Demi Plié, up! Grande Plié, up!  
Emmett- [whispers to Alice] hey.. When is lunch?  
Alice- we just ate..  
Emmett- Well, this frikin dance intruder is confusing me! Who the hell knows what a plié is? DEMI PLIÉ! GRANDE PLIÉ! I mean, seriously?! Who knows that?  
Edward- [glares at Emmett] everyone here but you... And it's "Instructor" not "intruder"  
Emmett- SHU-UP EDDY!  
Edward- DO NOT CALL ME EDDY!  
Bella- [groans] Edward, Emmie.. PLEASE don't argue!  
[[All of the Cullen's realize that the dance class has stopped and all the students, including dance teacher, is staring at them]  
Emmett- HEY GUYS! Just uhh... Get back to doing the "pliès!"  
[[All Cullen's groan]]  
Alice- [Eyes glaze over becuz she sees the future, starts laughing] bahaha!  
Jasper- What Alice? What did you see?  
Alice- Jazzy sweetheart.. Just wait...  
[[Emmett stands with a derp face in the center of the floor. A dancer doing a leap kicks him in the stomach]]  
Emmett- Holy CRAP! [grabs the dancer, ready to throw her]  
Jasper- I-I'm trying to send calming waves to him... Ehh... It's not working... [picks up a baton and chunks it at Emmett's head]  
Emmett- [Drops the dancer and looks at the baton, picks it up, and looks at Jasper] JASPER! DID U SERIOUSLY JUST THROW AN ODD LOOKING STICK AT MY HEAD?!  
Edward- [cracks up]  
Bella- Yep!  
Jasper- [Laughs] that's called a steel pipe..  
Rose- NO! You guys are complete idiots! It's a BATON! B-A-T-O-N!  
Emmett- did she just call me an idiot?  
Rose- Emmet, ur an idiot.  
Emmett- IDIOT IS MY MIDDLE NAME! Wait...  
Rose- What?  
Emmett- Emmett is my middle name... Not idiot! Rosalie! U lied to me!  
Rose- I never said ur middle name was idiot.. U did... And Emmett isn't ur middle name either...  
Emmett- WHA-? Wait... Emmett isn't my middle name! ROSE! I AM SMART! [does this unnessasary dance]  
D.I- MR. CULLEN! YOUR FOOT WASNT POINTED!  
Emmett- LIKE I CARE! ALL OF U ARE RAGS! [Runs out screaming] CULLEN'S ARE LEAVING NOW! ROSE! BELLS! THE REST OF Y'ALL C'MON!  
Bella- [grabs stuff and walks out with everyone] welp... That's the last time any of us will probably come to dance class..


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- Err. Here we go? It's just the Cullen's texting. The main humor is Emmett. I dunno if anyone finds this funny, but I was cracking up xD Ask me if you don't know who's who. I think you'll understand. C:**

Text Messages: Cullen Style.

~Chapter One~

(Everyone has signed on)

PixieLover- Wow guys! Love my new phone!

Clumsy3- Me too! I love it!

- iPhone 5!

PrettyGirl- Uhh no Edward! I love my Android!

Psychic123- Hehe.! I like my iPhone 5 too Edward :D

HSADFUSHAIGS- Wwjat diss I guy?

- Ummm... Emmett?

Psychic123- Lol! Emmett! What's your name?!

HSADFUSHAIGS- WHST PLOBE DUD O HET?

PixieLover- ... "What phone did I get?"

HSADFUSHAIGS- YUA!

Clumsy3-... Hahahahahaha! He got a Blackberry! His fingers are too big to push the buttons! XD

- xD Oh Emmett.

HSADFUSHAIGS- WHGAT?

PixieLover- Heh. We'll get you settled Emmett. Change your name on there... Get you a new phone...

PrettyGirl- My poor baby!

Clumsy3- Rose!

(PixieLover and HSADFUSHAIGS has signed off)

- ... I guess Emmett's gonna get a new phone. Welp. Ttyl guys!

(Everyone has signed off)

~Chapter 2~

(Everyone has signed on)

Psychic123- Hey guys!

PixieLover- Hello my love ;)

PrettyGirl- No txt message display of affection GUYS!

SexyHunk- 3 ROSIEEE!

-... Sexy Hunk? Who the heck is that?

Clumsy3- ... It better not be Mike. Not after last time. Hey "Sexy Hunk". Who are you?

Psychic123- OOOO! Twenty Questions!

SexyHunk- Ok! I'm gonna ask 20 HARD questions about me. Ok? They will get easier by every question! Ok? 1st Question! My name contains TWO M's and TWO T's! Also TWO E's!

Psychic123-...

Clumsy3-...

PixieLover-...

PrettyGirl-...

-...

SexyHunk-... Question 2!

PixieLover-... No one needs anymore questions.

SexyHunk- But.. We have 19 questions left! :c

Clumsy3-... Emmett. We all know its you.

SexyHunk- REALLY?! How?!

-... First off. I can read your mind. Second. You immediately gave it away on the first question! And you said it would get easier! What would the 20th question be?! IM A COMPLETE IDIOT?! And third! YOU WERENT EVEN PLAYING A QUESTION GAME! It was a hint!

PixieLover- Calm down, Edward.

SexyHunk- YEAH EDWARD! GOD

Psychic123- Calm your tits, Emmett

SexyHunk- Right Right *calms tits*cx

PixieLover-... Good. God. Please. Help. Me. -.- Emmett. NEVER SAY OR DO THAT AGAIN!

Clumsy3- Poor Jazz. :-*

SexyHunk- WOW! WHAT IS THAT EMOTICON?!

Psychic123- Emmett. What do you THINK it is?!

SexyHunk- A BOOGER?! HELL, I DUNNO?!

PixieLover- I like ponies…

SexyHunk- ME TOO! Let's go ride some! 333

Clumsy3- Jesus Christ. I'm gonna go get a churro.

(SexyHunk, PixieLover, and Clumsy3 have signed off)

- I'm back. Where's Bella?

(SexyHunk and PixieLover have signed on)

PixieLover- We couldn't ride any… L

SexyHunk- Bella went to get a churro, but that could mean ANYTHING! Woop! Caps time!

Psychic123- Emmett, you do that, and I'll shun you.

SexyHunk- NOOOO! NOT THE SHUN!

Psychic123- THEN DON'T DO IT!

( , PixieLover, and PrettyGirl have signed off)

Psychic123- Bye.

(Psychic123 has signed off)

SexyHunk- Guys?...

**What'd y'all think? Horrible? I dunno. They were alright. I was bored on days like this. Cx Thanks for reading!**


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